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1.

Danger zone: area at nexus of Abercrombie & Fitch and Auntie Anne’s Pretzels. Two juxtaposing scents—fresh-baked yeast pretzels and men’s cologne—combine to induce searing headache.

2.

Dead zone: eerily empty Galleria III. Witness the rarely visited zombie mall before it’s demolished and rebuilt next year.

3.

Nicest employees: Puma—they know fancy words like “pronate,” seem genuinely concerned about supremely messed-up balls and arches.

4.

Best people-watching: comfortable chairs at Starbucks face the ice rink and afford a bird’s-eye view of nearly the entire place.

5.

Great escape: Carolina Herrera store, which resembles a young James Bond’s study.

6.

Spencer’s—yes, it still exists!

7.

Swatch—yes, it still exists too!

8.

Best place to relive your ’80s mall memories: Tilt—a few rounds of Skeeball and air hockey will have you positively thirsting for an Orange Julius and a trip to Contempo Casuals.

9.

Kid Corral: Not your traditional playground, but kids love it anyway. Bonus: giant plastic replica of Galleria provides handy visual for adults trying to find their way through the labyrinth that is this mall. 

10.

Cleanest, prettiest restrooms in the place.

11.

Most hipster bike in town: $3,000 Shinola bicycle.

12.

Patrick Swayze managed ice rink in 1971, returned triumphantly in 1995, showing his Arabian horses on the ice for a St. Joseph’s Hospital benefit.

13.

Free champagne here while you shop.

14.

Free bottled water here while you shop.

15.

Cheesecake Factory: Galleria Operations Manager Randy Schumacher’s favorite place.

16.

Daily Grill: Galleria Director of Marketing Jenny Harris’s favorite place.

17.

Johnny Dang: Where you can get the glammest grill in the Galleria.

18.

Mariposa: Ladies who lunch lunch here.

19.

Bistro N: Grab lunch without leaving comfort of Nordstrom.

20.

Galleria IV: Known affectionately by Galleria employees as the “mommy mall.”

21.

Grille 5115: Dine inside Saks, bathe in glow of 40-foot carved “rose wall” that changes colors every few minutes.

22.

Grandly named Promenade that leads only to restrooms and a parking lot.

23.

Kona Grill: One of few Galleria restaurants with an outdoor seating area. Enjoy the sunshine with a beer and football on patio.

24.

Westin Galleria banquet room: George W. Bush raised $3 million dollars for his 2004 reelection campaign here in one night. 

25.

30-by-60-foot American flag.

26.

5,000-pound LED TV equipped with Wii.

27.

2011: Beyoncé spotted Christmas shopping while pregnant

28.

Foot Locker: Feb. 16, 2013: Nike designer Marc Dolce signs shoe boxes for new Jordan XX8 shoes; outside, fans hunting for new kicks and pro basketball players during NBA All-Stars week force the entire Galleria to shut down after it reaches capacity.

29.

Orange garage: Best place to park to avoid traffic. 

30.

Yellow garage: Best parking garage for a central location underneath the mall. If you’re running in and out, the third level is the best: it offers 30 minutes of free parking.

 
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