Read the first installment of The Soylent Diaries here.


Day Two

3:20 pm

Woke up at 3:15. No hunger pangs. My wonderful wife is taunting me with Cheetos. "But they're baked," she says, confusing my experiment for some sort of health concern. Juliette, my daughter, is trying to sneak another taste. 

5:35 pm

Maybe drinking my first glass of the day while reading r/wtf wasn't the best idea. The way the stuff is separated today is really squigging me out.

6:57 pm

Realizing, as I peruse my usual Internet haunts, that my interests are a bit one-sided; food writing and Soylent don’t mix. Kind of like Soylent and water …

8:45 pm

This feels a bit like the sort of euphoric adrenaline rush that comes about three days into prolonged insomnia. Usually that precedes a horrific crash, so let's all cross our fingers. Also, the flatulence is still a big problem. Makes me glad my workstation is at the far end of the room, away from my coworkers.

1 am

Thinking seriously about trying to cook with this stuff. I miss eating. Not that I’m hungry, I just miss the physical act of eating. I miss savory, too. Since I'm using the vegan version, I figure it would be close to the original version to dose it up with some fish sauce, right? Like a fish-sauce flavored pancake, maybe? Or throw some Soylent in an iSi whipper and make a one-minute microwave bread? The possibilities are endless?

5:15 am

Seized with an inexplicable nostalgic urge to listen to mid-90s alternative rock at eardrum-destroying volume. Vaseline, Black Hole Sun… Seeing as how I haven’t listened to any of that stuff in years, I can only assume that means there’s a conspiracy between VH1’s Behind the Music and the makers of Soylent.

5:35 am

Got home and realized I left my handy mixing pitcher, and the remaining portion from yesterday's rations, which I had intended to drink before going to bed for the day/night at the office. Mixing Soylent a glass at a time feels so primitive. I mean, at this rate, I might as well be herding a mammoth off a cliff.

7:15 am

Odd but, in line with the gassy thing, every time I burp, which is unfortunately frequently, my mouth is suffused with an odd, meaty taste. Maybe Soylent really IS people ...

Check back tomorrow for Day Three of the end of food.

 

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