From left to right: Billy Lynch, Simon the Bee, Nancy Abendshein, Viktoria Svensson, Anastasia the Great, Heights Mystery Pooper, Sebastien “Mr. D” Boileau, and Kalpana Peck.

When it’s this hot and your brain has melted to liquid goo, there’s really only one solution available: grin wildly at cute things. Hence this month’s party guests, including Rice co-offensive coordinator Billy Lynch, who got Kinkaid star quarterback J.T. Granato to commit to the school by sending a letter to his cat. Adorable! Also adorable, if in a red-eyed way: Simon the Bee, the mascot for BuzzBar, an alcohol-infused ice cream for adults, now available at Spec’s. We’ll be seating Nancy Abendshein, whose family just donated a $2 million chair in social work to UH, between the Bee and Katy kindergartner Viktoria Svensson, who is not only criminally cute but an author in the making, as evidenced by her first-place winning story in the 2014 Houston Public Media PBS KIDS Writers Contest, “Three Giraffes and the Train.” Adorable! No, our ovaries aren’t throbbing. We swear. Where were we? Ah yes. You know what else is adorable? That the artist named Anastasia the Great thought she’d get away with allegedly concealing cash, glass sculptures, and watches that belonged to dead, and yes, still disgraced, hand doctor Michael Brown. Sorry, but the creditors always find you, honey. Other people who always get found: folks who crap on other folks’ sidewalks, a.k.a. the national headlines–grabbing Heights Mystery Pooper. (Is it us, or is that nickname kinda cute? Oh, and the Houstonia House is not located in the Heights.) Moving on, we can’t forget that other guy with a cute nickname, artist Sebastien “Mr. D” Boileau, who recently painted the city’s largest mural, which clocks in at 8,000 square feet, at 2800 San Jacinto St. And finally, local designer Kalpana Peck recently launched Earthredz, which not only produces, yes, adorable natural-fiber purses but donates a portion of proceeds to Project Loom, which supports women in rural India. Amen and pass the Blitzed Berry ice cream.

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