Cause: Thanks to record heat in October, always-brutal fall allergens like ragweed and mold are still in full swing, leading to killer sinus congestion and headaches.
Remedy: Allegra, neti pot
Alternative: Eat something—anything—slathered in the nuclear green salsa from
Tacos Tierra Caliente.
Seasonal Affective Disorder
Cause: There’s something about the dark, short days that can cause an uptick in the winter blues.
Remedy: Light exposure, melatonin
Alternative: Ring in the New Year in sun-soaked Cabo San Lucas—insurance covers that, right?
Cause: Win or lose, the Texans still don’t have a franchise quarterback on the roster.
Remedy: Draft one.
Alternative: Clone J.J. Watt, then teach the clone to play the position.
Dry Skin and Lips
Cause: Even in humid Houston, cooler temps can dry out your skin, leaving you itchy and uncomfortable.
Remedy: Humidifiers, lotions, lip balm
Alternative: Take fewer showers, and toss your razor until spring. Your true friends will pretend not to notice.
Cause: Shopping for gifts, decorating the house, buying a tree, baking treats, mailing holiday cards, coordinating travel, attending galas and kids’ concerts and office parties…
Remedy: Plan ahead, manage your calendar, optimize your time and make it look easy.
Alternative: To hell with all that. ’Tis the season to binge on Netflix.