This morning, a Houston resident posted a photo to Reddit of the temperature gauge in his car's dashboard reporting that, congratulations, the external temp was 101 degrees. Minutes later, a grumpy fellow Houstonian responded with a post of his own to r/Houston sniping, in short, that no one wants to see pictures of how hot it is outside, with an accompanying image of a little girl the Internet refers to as "Side Eyeing Chloe" with requisite meme Impact font trumpeting out below her tiny, annoyed face: Could you not?
The post has since been removed, sadly, because Reddit is fickle and weird. But the fact remains that no one really wants to talk about how hot it's getting, how hot it's about to get and/or how long it's going to remain hot. We get it. Summer is here. We're going to crawl under a rock somewhere until it all passes because at least under there it's cool and dark and so what if you're living with worms at least they won't leave third-degree burns on your hand like that traitorous steering wheel.
2502 Algerian Way
That said, there are still a few more weeks in which you can enjoy being outside as long as you stay in the shade. Instead of a rock, however, we have another idea: Paul's Kitchen, where the seriously shaded patio gets a nice breeze in the afternoon that happens to pair really well with its new summer happy hour menu. Here, you'll find a smart menu of cocktails that have been time-tested as hot weather remedies: a $5 John Daly with sweet tea vodka and lemonade (watch it, or you'll end up as notoriously plastered as the cocktail's namesake, who's since given up alcohol but admits to still smokine 40 cigarettes a day); a $5 Texas mule with vodka, lime and ginger beer; a $7 piña colada made light and dark rum, lime, pineapple and coconut cream; and even a line-up of $6 mimosas in a variety of flavors.
Why mimosas on a happy hour menu, you may ask? First of all, you'd better not be complaining, because second of all, happy hour at Paul's Kitchen starts at 11 a.m. every day—every single day!—like we live in some kind of resort fairyland which, again, is so much nicer than a dirty rock.
In addition to drinks, the summer happy hour menu also offers food specials such as $6 kimchi fries and curried chicken skewers, $8 seafood banh mi and Texas brisket bao buns, and a $10 "bloody mary" steak tartare for the bold. In addition, the regular, non-summer-happy-hour menu pricing also applies to pizza and appetizers, which are half-off Monday through Friday from 3 to 7 p.m. Both this standard weekday happy hour and the summer happy hour menu are only available on the patio or, if the weather has really turned against you, in the air-conditioned bar. Which, again...way better than hiding under a rock.
I mean, we feel you, Houston. The weather sucks right now. But at least we're good at inventing ways to enjoy ourselves anyway, by which I obviously mean eating fried oysters and washing them down with $3 draft beers while we daydream about the first cold snap of the year. Any day now...