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Is brontosaurus kosher? We hope so.

Halfway through Jurassic World, it becomes obvious the dinosaurs are responsible hunters dedicated to eating every last bit of the humans they kill, whereas their homo sapien counterparts are content to murder T. Rexes and leave their carcasses for the birds. I would like to think that if dinosaurs existed today in populations large enough to withstand hunting, we would incorporate these animals into our cooking in an elegant, meaningful, and if dietary and religious restrictions are amenable, kosher fashion.

Who would be leading the charge in this movement? Certainly, Genesis Steakhouse, which has already garnered accolades for its fastidiously cultivated kosher protein dishes, and now is extending its culinary prowess to tackle a new $38 Sunday special: “Brontosaurus” Smoked Beef.  

Before you grimace in fiscal pain, know this massive, juicy hunk of bovine is worth the price tag, given not only the lengthy preparation involved but also the sheer volume of unctuous, seasoned flesh it yields. Take home the bone and you can easily generate another twenty bucks worth of stock.  

Now, obviously restaurant founder Jason Goldstein does not have access to a time machine nor did his kitchen team engage in some loosey-goosey genetic engineering to produce a brontosaurus; the chop is so named for of its gargantuan size. However, if the due diligence taken in rendering this piece of fake Bronto meat orthodox and deliciousness is any indication of how Genesis would deal with a real giant sauropod, we can only hope that dinosaurs come back to rule the earth.

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Genesis Steakhouse & Wine Bar

$$$$ Steak, Sushi 5427 Bissonnet St

Jason Goldstein’s Genesis is the first totally kosher steakhouse in the city (and, as we understand it, in the entire Southwest). Outside of the steaks thems...