The longest U.S. presidential election in the history of the world (not sure if that's true, but I think we can all agree that it feels like it) is finally coming to a close, and while some of us will be huddled under blankets peeping at Twitter every 10 minutes while otherwise distracting ourselves with Lifetime movies, other more social types might want to be out in the world Tuesday evening experiencing the results of what's felt like a truly apocalyptic election. No matter which way you lean and what level of gusto/angst you're looking for, we're sure you'll fit in at one of these watch parties around town.
True die-hard members of the Pantsuit Nation should mosey over to Axelrad Beer Garden, where the Houston Stonewall Young Democrats, UH College Democrats, Harris County Young Tejano Democrats and Harris County Young Democrats will be hosting their watch party. There'll be free food and Clinton-themed apparel at Diallo's of Houston, near Texas Southern University. Living your life outside the Loop? Head to Neon Boots Dancehall & Saloon in Spring Branch, where for $10 you can dance to a DJ and whack a Trump piñata.
For those on the other side of the aisle, the Harris County Republicans are hosting a watch party at their headquarters, where Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick will make an appearance. Elephants outside the loop should head to the Insperity Club at Constellation Field, home of the Sugar Land Skeeters, where the Fort Bend Young Republicans are throwing a big bash — according to the event's Facebook page, more than 300 people came to their last one.
For those who want to keep it somewhat civil no matter the night's results, Bar Boheme in Montrose is hosting a bipartisan watch party that starts at 4 p.m. and goes to 2 a.m., featuring both a Trump and a Clinton piñata. And if you're more about the drinking than the watching, Sterling House in Midtown has $3 shots of Fireball and Jameson all night—and if you bring your "I Voted" sticker, the first one's on the house.
If staring at the numbers on TV all night sounds too brutal—and who could blame you?—head over to Saint Arnold Brewing Company for its "Election Day Safe Haven," where you can drink your damn beer in peace at a "strictly unplugged affair." The first pint is $1.
Happy returns, and may the best woman—er, person—win!