Get it Together, Siri
The First 10 Words Every Houstonian Teaches Their Phone
This whole list won't be Mexican food (but it could be).

It's not that hard.
Image: via Google Earth
Why is it that when you upgrade your smartphone, all your contacts and pictures make it over, but all the words you add to your keyboard dictionary are gone with the wind? It's like the powers that be want to make you sound ducking stupid for not paying close attention to your texts.
Anyway, just to save you a little time, here's a few words to get you started.
10. Solange
And yet it has Beyoncé. Weird.
9. Chilaquiles
Also missing: migas. Brunch in Silicon Valley must be terrible. No wonder they care so much about avocado toast.
8. Tomatillo
Come on, how are you supposed to text your friends what kind of salsa you want with your tacos from Tacos Tierra Caliente?
7. Ceviche
I swear, this whole list won't be Mexican food (but it could be).
6. Nola
It's like you've never even heard of the South, Siri.
5. Goddammit
The preferred expletive of generations of Texans, though your spelling may vary.
4. Flamingo
Actually I'm not really sure why my phone isn't familiar with flamingos, nor am I aware why I talk about them so much.
3. Trill
Great, I'll just find some other word to describe my evening/party/waffles/city.
2. Westheimer
One time my sister was visiting from Dallas. While giving me directions to pick her up, she asked "It's right off Westheimer, is that helpful?" I was like, yeah, just go outside, I'm sure I'll find you. I never saw her again.
1. Queso
I have no words.