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Bayou City Blowout

  • Costumes: Houston heroes—think JJ Watt, Slim Thug, Lynn Wyatt, et al.
  • Food: Queso, kolaches, brisket
  • Signature drink: Tequila and Topo Chico
  • Activity: Pin the Ponytail on Beyoncé
  • Setting: Somewhere air-conditioned, with all the Ultimate Houston Photobooth fixings (see below)
  • Bonus points for: Throwing it on July 13—713 Day.

Image: Shutterstock

Come as You Were

  • Costumes: Whatever made you cool in middle school—overalls, leg warmers, or butterfly clips.
  • Food: Frozen pizza, Lunchables, ice cream sundaes
  • Signature drink: Spiked Hawaiian Punch
  • Activity: Arts and crafts, trust falls, Truth or Dare
  • Setting: A basement or generic event hall decorated haphazardly with paper streamers.
  • Bonus points for: Guests who get their parents to pick them up.

Image: Shutterstock

Coachella

  • Costumes: Your best festival gear: mesh tanks, fishtail braids, and loads of body glitter.
  • Food: Avocado toast, acai bowls, and whatever else is trending on Instagram.
  • Signature drink: A La Croix-can cocktail à la Present Company
  • Activity: DIY flower crowns and terrariums
  • Setting: A pool so crowded with floats, no one can actually swim in it.
  • Bonus points for: Charging $3,000 for admission

Image: Shutterstock

Retirement Party

  • Costumes: Thrifted sweater vests and slacks, sensible shoes, glasses on chains
  • Food: Cottage cheese, Wheat Thins, canned soup.
  • Signature drink: Shots served in empty prescription bottles
  • Activity: Bobbing for false teeth
  • Setting: Inflatable palm trees, lawn chairs, and plastic flamingos.
  • Bonus points for: Anyone who's already balding.

Image: Shutterstock

Bougie Country Club

  • Costumes: Prep-school-chic: pearls, tennis skirts, and popped polos.
  • Food: Caviar, canapés, charcuterie
  • Signature drink: Champagne, darling.
  • Activity: Putt-putt, croquet, bocce
  • Setting: Assuming you can't afford ROCC, an extremely well-manicured yard.
  • Bonus points for: Having the most diversified portfolio—or even knowing what that is.

For the 'Gram: the Most Houston Photobooth of all Time

Your backdrop:

Get a large piece of cardboard and some black and teal paint, then attempt to re-create the iconic Be Someone graffiti over 45 near downtown. Finish it off with construction-paper bats inspired by the ones at the Waugh Street Bridge, suspended from the ceiling with fishing line.

Your props:

  • A cute, plush crawfish with no idea what’s in store for him.
  • An astronaut helmet —this is Space City, after all.
  • A cowboy hat, because you’re in Texas.
  • A roll of tinfoil for DIY grillz, because you’re in Houston.
  • Artificial bluebonnets, because while it's not technically illegal to pick the real thing, it is definitely frowned upon.
  • A Harden-style beard, to strike fear in the heart of any opponent.
  • A crown, to channel Bey.
  • Astros, Rockets, and Texans gear, pulled from your own closet.
  • A fake steering wheel, to pair with a healthy dose of existential rage.
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