A site called Ucityguides.com claims that Houston is the ugliest city in the first world and the seventh most hideous metropolis on the planet, trailing only Mexico City, Guatemala City, Amman, Caracas, Luanda and Chisinau, and barely more fetching than Detroit.

Here's what they had to say about us:

Houston, we have a problem: You're ugly. This is the United States' fourth largest city when it comes to population, but the attraction sure isn't scenery. There are many other ugly American cities (let's face it -- American metropolises aren't exactly beauties: Atlanta, Cleveland...), but this one should win the title of ugliest of them all, with a large impoverished and homeless population (close to one in five families live below the poverty line) and a cityscape with no formal zoning regulations.

Well now, we can do better than that. Zoning, poor people and that completely played-out "Houston, we have a problem" crack is the best they can come up with?

Obviously they haven't seen the following spots from our proud city of crude people and refined oil, or we would be number one in the whole wide world.

Look out Guatemala City, and Adios Amman, prepare to get out-uglied H-Town style.  

Ella Boulevard's "Trans Fat Alley." (Not pictured: Carl's Jr., Raisin' Cane, KFC.)

Image: Google Maps

Broad majestic Westheimer.

Image: Google Maps

Our waterways.

A typical Wallisville Road cantina.

Image: Google Maps

Broadway Bridge over Brays Bayou

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