Welcome to Perfect Party headquarters, where, despite recent events, we’re refusing to invite Rick Perry and Rex Tillerson to break bread with us.

We’d rather have 7-year-old Will Erickson, whose letter to Astros GM Jeff Luhnow, begging him to keep right-fielder George Springer on the roster, recently went viral; or Renee Reed, whose cat café, El Gato Coffeehouse, will soon open next to NiaMoves in the Heights; or Mae Jemison, the first African American woman to travel to space, who’s been tapped to speak at Rice’s upcoming commencement; or Terry McMillan, the author who got her groove back all those years ago and will read from her latest, I Almost Forgot About You, at the Alley on February 6; or Joey Alexander, the 13-year-old Indonesian jazz pianist who got a standing O at last year’s Grammys and plays the Wortham on February 17.

Honestly—and we hope our other, esteemed guests don’t take this the wrong way—we’ll even take that 53-pound snapping turtle that recently made international headlines for being saved after getting stuck in a Hockley-area drain pipe.