An Experiental Year

6 Things We Tried in 2018

From milking a goat to trying out for The Bachelor, we learned a thing or two by broadening our horizons this year.

Edited by Abby Ledoux December 31, 2018

Here at Houstonia, we're nothing if not adventurous. Whether the challenge at-hand requires stamina, curiosity, or just plain chutzpah, we're usually game.

This year was no different, and we put ourselves out there from the barnyard to the boxing ring in the name of ... er, better reporting. Useful? Maybe. Entertaining? Definitely. Here, our year in experiments.

1. January: Trap Yoga

Guinea pig: Cherie Devine
“No stranger to yoga, I was intrigued when I saw a Facebook post circulating for Trap Yoga. When I noticed the class was 'recommended for ages 16+; this class is vulgar AF,' I signed up then and there."


2. February: Milking a Goat

Guinea pig: Morgan Kinney
“The timer is quickly running down, and panic sets in. Determined to outpace the competition, I focus on a single nipple, vigorously coaxing the milk from the udder above and squeezing her leathery undercarriage with increasing intensity."


3. April: Spray Tanning

Guinea pig: Abby Ledoux
“Make sure you have a darker shade of makeup on deck. Your face tans, too, a fact you’ll quickly realize when, say, you apply the Fenty Beauty foundation you purchased around Christmastime and end up having to blend it all the way down your neck."


4. Later in April: Eyelash Extensions

Guinea pig: Abby Ledoux
“What followed was two hours of careful, exacting work on Vicky’s part and a kind of bizarre state of semi-consciousness on mine, my (closed) eyelids expanded with tape as I drifted in and out of sleep on a flat table beneath a fuzzy purple blanket to what I’d venture a guess were the sounds of a Pandora station based on Miley Cyrus’s 'The Climb.'"


5. July: Auditioning for The Bachelor

Guinea pig: Abby Ledoux
“I sat back sipping my First Impression and took in the scene. Most of the girls looked too young to legally drink; I tried to imagine them all cohabiting the famed Agoura Hills mansion and wooing the last bachelor, Arie Luyendyk Jr., who is a 36-year-old race car driver."


6. November: Boxing

Guinea pig: Abby Ledoux
“I visibly improved with each session in the ring (there were three), gradually progressing from clueless and spaghetti-armed to at least moderately coordinated and able to keep up with what felt surprisingly like a dance. This must be what Muhammad Ali meant, I thought as I squared off to jump around the ring."

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