A night at the Post Oak is romantic enough on its own, so can you even imagine what $20,000 at the ultra-swank Uptown hotel will get you this Valentine's Day?

Well, you don't have to. The answer: the bougiest date you'll ever have. In fact, "date" is an understatement—this is a $20,000 experience.

The Post Oak first offered the over-the-top package—available only in February—last year, and now it's back again to the delight of big-spenders and Mr. Big-types everywhere. For 200 Franklins, you and your sweetheart get a one-night stay in the hotel's 5,000-square-foot Presidential Suite, which includes a spacious living area, dining area, gym, office, outdoor terrace, massage table for in-room spa treatments, 24-hour butler service, and private elevator access. It's lavishly appointed with a whopping 11 chandeliers throughout, not to mention 10 TVs and satellite radio streaming everywhere (including the shower), so queue up that baby-making music.

This deluxe hideaway, which has attracted visiting dignitaries and celebs alike, normally starts at 12 grand a night, so for 20K, you know there's still more in store. Like, say, a nighttime helicopter tour, Bachelor date-style, for a whole-new view of our skyline. You can also request transport via a Rolls-Royce Phantom, as one does.

You'll also get two monogrammed robes to wear to the spa for your treatments—two each: an In-Skin facial, which uses state-of-the-art, German-engineered and Italian-manufactured technology (the Post Oak is the only hotel in Texas to use the In-Skin facial system), and a Royal-Lomi Massage.

Fully rejuvenated, you'll be ready for the private sunset dinner and wine pairing on the outdoor terrace, with Executive Chef Jean-Luc Royere and Master Sommelier Keith Goldston. Breakfast-in-bed is delivered in the morning, and you'll also get a $250 credit toward room service or the adorable Bloom & Bee, plus a $500 shopping credit to the hotel's luxury boutique, 29 North.

Can't swing it? For the bargain price of $15,000, you can whisk your bae away to a one-bedroom suite (full kitchen, deluxe bathrooms, walk-in closets) for an overnight stay, chef-prepared dinner, and included deluxe spa offerings.

Then there's the $5,000 package, which includes an overnight stay in a Concierge Executive Suite with a welcome bottle of Veuve Clicquot, personalized silk robes, a couple's massage, and roundtrip transportation. Not exactly roughing it.

To book, call the Post Oak at 346-227-5002—but call me first.