We have many pressing questions for Pheidippides, the ancient Greek emissary whose run gave rise to the Chevron Houston and all other marathons. Namely: Who were you trying to impress? What was your daily step count? And most of all: How do you prevent shin splints? Unfortunately, the dude is 2,500 years dead, and since he’s unavailable for a chat, we’ll have to sit this one out. Yes, while droves of Houstonians will be out running 26.2 miles come the annual traffic apocalypse, slated for January 20, we’ll be waiting comfortably in the wings, cheering on the happy masochists with one of these signs:

Image: Amy Kinkead

The Chevron Houston Marathon takes place Sunday, January 20.

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