Want to be a baller this Valentine’s Day? Break the bank in ridiculously glorious fashion with one of these three wild menu items.

The Post Oak Hotel's H Bar

Uptown 

• The dish: The Black Gold 
• The price: $1,600 
• The ingredients: 16-oz. sliced Japanese A5 wagyu, seared foie gras, and shaved black truffles on a caviar-infused black and 24-karat gold brioche bun with hand-cut, 24-karat golden fries, truffle aioli, and a bottle of 2006 Dom Perignon.
• Forfeit this to afford it: a Gucci bag, or one-month's rent 

B&B Butchers & Restaurant 

Washington Avenue

• The dish: A5 Wagyu Katsu Sando 
• The price: $120
• The ingredients: Panko-crusted, deep-fried A5 Japanese wagyu ribeye on buttered and crustless Japanese white bread with house-made Japanese barbecue "Tonkatsu sauce" and zucchini fries.
• Forfeit this to afford it: A deep-tissue massage, or a trip to Target (you know it's true) 

 Guard & Grace 

Downtown

• The dish: Millionaire Fajitas 
• The Price: $400
• The Ingredients: 24-ounce black wagyu ruby, oak-charred peppers and onions, black garlic huitlacoche steak sauce, guacamole, green Chile enchiladas, refried beans, rice, and gold flake tortillas. 
• Forfeit this to afford it: Apple Watch series 5, or balayage highlights