Hop hop hop hop hippity hop! Easter, the day Christians believe Jesus rose from the dead that we for some reason commemorate in secular American culture by binging on copious amounts of candy, is Sunday. Cadbury creme eggs and chocolate bunnies are staples of any respectable Easter basket, but this season there are some, shall we say, less-traditional contenders vying for a spot in the fluorescent green (or pink or yellow) grass.
Here we evaluate five new confections that we recently tried, because you need to know whether to binge yourself.
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𝗢𝗵 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗣𝗲𝗲𝗽’𝘀 𝘀𝗮𝗸𝗲, 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗰𝘆 🥵! 𝗠𝘆 𝗵𝘂𝘀𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗱, 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝟯 𝗣𝗘𝗘𝗣’𝗦 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗽𝗼𝗱! 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝘃𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘁𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗳𝗼𝗼𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗱𝗲𝘀 𝗣𝗘𝗘𝗣’𝗦! 𝗜 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗴𝗼, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗲𝗽𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘂𝗴𝗹𝘆 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗺𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗔𝘀 𝗮 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆’𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻. 𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝘄𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗺𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗱𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗟𝗶𝗮𝗺 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗦 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘀! 𝗠𝘆 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗧𝗝 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗲𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗶𝗴 𝗯𝗼𝘆𝘀 𝗦𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝘂𝗴𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗻𝗼𝘄! 🤦🏼♀️ 𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗜’𝗺 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗣𝗘𝗘𝗣’𝗦 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿, 🤷🏼♀️! 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗘𝗘𝗣-𝗟𝗘! 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝗔𝗹𝗹. 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗡𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁. 𝗠𝗶𝗰 🎤 𝗗𝗿𝗼𝗽! . . . . . #peeps #hottamales #hottamalepeeps #scovilleunits #spicy #easter #easterpeeps #candy #marshmallow #pawleysisland #pawleysislandsc #pawleys #lowcountry #lowcountryliving #southernliving #grandchildren #coastalliving #family #fun #funny #instagram #easterbasket #easterbasketstuffer #kroger #micdrop #nailedit #candylicious #grandboys #beach #salty
Hot Tamale Peeps: The majority of Peeps's novelty varieties are disgusting, but this mash-up of America’s favorite Easter marshmallows and Hot Tamale candies is surprisingly palatable. While the cinnamon flavor is a far cry from “fierce,” the mild spice combined with the sweet sponge of 'mallow makes for a toothsome treat.
Lemon Crisp Kit-Kats: Remove “crisp” from its title and the name says it all. This most unhappy marriage of fake citrus, white chocolate, and wafer is the saddest candy bar we’ve encountered since the revamped Butterfinger. Currently, Lemon Crisp Kit-Kats are only available in miniature; God help us all if they start issuing king-size versions.
Tootsie Roll Eggs: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Egg? I didn’t bother to find out because one lick was enough to indicate these Tootsie rolls coated in pastel shell are awkward in taste and texture, not to mention a dental disaster if you have any loose fillings.
Brach's Purple Rain Jelly Beans: We feel neither sorrow nor pain. These beans in contrasting violet shades come in a shower of violently strong berry, blueberry, blue raspberry, grape flavors, respectively. Stock up now or doves won’t be the only thing crying come Sunday.
Reese’s Shake & Break Eggs: If you're feeling any frustration right now (seriously, who isn't?) and want to take it out in a way that won’t land you on an episode of COPS—while enjoying some yummy chocolate peanut butter morsels—here's your answer. As per instructions, first shake that hollow milk chocolate Reese’s egg and listen for the delightful rattle. Then, crush it on the coffee table to unleash its delicious contents: Reese’s Pieces!