Desperate Climes

The Increasingly Luxurious Perks of Apartments Desperate for Tenants

Why stop at free laundry and breakfast? We want barbecue delivery too.

By Katharine Shilcutt May 31, 2016 Published in the June 2016 issue of Houstonia Magazine

Icehouse platter bhh0f0

Image: Shutterstock

No longer do you have to live in the penthouse apartment at The Four Seasons to get white-glove service in exchange for your monthly rent check. As oil prices plummet and the city’s housing market cools, complexes are offering more than one two three months’ free rent to lure Houstonians into their leasing offices.

Communities such as The Heights at Westchase, located at Beltway 8 and Richmond Ave., are betting that free laundry services and gratis weekday breakfasts will attract renters. But why stop there? Below, the additional services we’ll require before moving into that new mid-rise complex:

Pollen Alert!

On high allergen days, management delivers two Sudafed tablets, a Neti pot and a bottle of chilled Voss water to your front door before you wake up.

Hunker Down!

When a band of storms threatens to squat on the city, movers will secure your belongings on higher ground.*

Go Green!

A master gardener snips the tiniest microgreens and freshest herbs from your complex’s rooftop garden, delivering them to you with recipe suggestions.

Stay Informed! 

Receive a 12-month subscription to with every one-year lease, so you don’t have to read through all those junk slideshows on

Get in Line!

Upon request, a staff member will drive to Pearland, wait in line at Killen’s Barbecue, place your order and deliver it to your doorstep.**

Get Aligned! 

Every 3,000 miles, your car will be given an alignment overnight, while you sleep, the better to tackle those potholes fresh the next morning.

* Emergency-supply delivery available for an extra fee
** Plating available for an extra fee.

Filed under
Show Comments