Texans did a spit take at news that after almost seven decades of family ownership, Whataburger has a new majority owner, a Chicago-based bank. For now we’re choosing to believe that our beloved chain will be left alone, as promised. But if the new owners do want to make some changes, we have an idea for them! This month marks the opening of the first Taco Bell Hotel, replete with taco-inspired cocktails and room decor—open, appropriately, for a limited time. We think the concept would be better executed with a few orange pinstripes, some sturdy A-frame construction, a restaurant slinging patty melts in the lobby, and a lazy river flowing with honey butter.