See You Later, Alligator 

Remember the alligator that stopped traffic on the Fred Hartman Bridge last April? Looks like it told all its gator friends to do the same. 

On Wednesday night, police were called to Cude Cemetery and FM-1097 near Lake Conroe in Montgomery County after a seven-foot-long, 300-pound alligator was spotted on the road, per Montgomery County Police Reporter. The gator was ushered back into the woods, and the cops went on their way. 

Turns out, it was just “see you later” for the gator, who, in full Willie Nelson fashion, just couldn’t wait to get on the road again. A motorcyclist almost hit that same alligator on the road later that evening. 

This time, a Texas Parks and Wildlife game warden was called, and with some help from four police volunteers, the gator was wrangled and sent to the Anahuac National Wildlife Refuge.  

Moral of the story: Nobody tells an alligator what to do. Full stop. 

We’re Waaay Better Than Chicago 

Here in Houston, we’re used to conflicting reports on barbecue. Some folks think we’re the best (to which we say, “duh”), and others think we’re the worst (to which we snort in derision), but all-in-all, to each their own. 

That is, until Chicago ranked higher than us. 

As reported by Chron.com, Lawn-care company LawnStarter recently ranked the best barbecue cities in the country. Houston came in third, behind Kansas City (first) and Chicago (second). 

While we can begrudgingly admit Kansas City does have decent barbecue, who the heck thinks Chicago of all places has better barbecue than Houston? Apparently not even Lawnstarter—per the company’s methodology, we were edged out of second place because Chicago has more events than us and not because the quality is better. Houston obviously ranked higher in that category, because, of course, we are better.

Say Cheese

Between a senator calling out the Astros in a Supreme Court confirmation hearing to opposing teams’ fans throwing literal trash cans on the field, we know the rest of the country is still furious at the Astros after the 2017 sign-stealing scandal. And they’re being petty. 

But we can be petty too. 

Case in point: On Wednesday, the Astros faced off against the Oakland Athletics, where whistleblower pitcher Mike Fiers now plays, at Minute Maid Park. While Fiers didn’t play that night, that didn’t stop one Astros fan from tossing a cheese hat (like one you’d see at a Packers game) with a toy rat glued to the top, Fiers’s face glued to the side, and phrases like “Has to get hungry,” “Say cheese,” and “Come out and play ball!!” scribbled along the edges on the field during the eighth inning. 

Petty? Yes. Unwarranted? We’ll let you decide.