If you've been in the professional world for a decade or more you probably have an ample collection of unsightly neck ties. This is not your fault, my friend. Your collection began during a period of professional exploration and youthful duress. It was the early 2000s, during a forgotten internship at a big name law firm, and the dress code called for wide, overpriced neckties and lots of man-to-man peacocking.
Suddenly, you were competing with "Brooks" and "Chance" for an elusive, entry-level job that would never materialize and -- because your father never taught you to play golf or talk to other men about the pleasure of slaughtering animals with high-powered guns -- you had to get "creative." Increasingly fat neckties, the kind that billowed out of collars and resembled reptilian dewlaps, seemed the appropriate response. But like I said, it was the early 2000s and you needed that internship real bad. No judgement here, friend.
If you're like me you've hidden your fat ties in the back of your closet. Occasionally, one surfaces in a dirty clothes pile and you resist the urge to eject the contents of your stomach all over it. But what if I told you that you could make use of your abhorrent past?
Enter "Skinnyfatties" (also pronounced "Skinny Fat Ties"), a new business that specializes in slimming down your favorite fat ties. The service debuted last summer and is the brainchild of Joshua Brueckner, a Brooklyn-based musician turned tailor. For $30, Brueckner will hand-tailor your fat tie and send it back to you in a little over a week.
"No hating on fat ties," Brueckner notes on his website. "As a matter of fact, the patterns and materials are usually incredible. These fat ties just need a little help. That's where SKINNYFATTIES comes in."
The service is simple:
1) Visit: www.skinnyfatties.com
2) Fill out a form and send in your tie.
3) Wait 10 business days and Brueckner will ship 'em back to you -- slimmer and wearable -- free of charge.