Camille Grammer, the villainess turned goody-two-shoes of Bravo's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, has accused her 36-year-old Texan boyfriend of felony domestic violence.

The incident occured on October 16 at the Hotel ZaZa, where the couple was staying after Grammer, 45, underwent a hysterectomy as part of her treatment for endometrial cancer. On Friday, Harris County prosecutors filed a felony charge of assault-family violence with a choking enhancement against Dallas native Dimitri Charlambopoulos, a bankruptcy attorney / fitness trainer who had been recently spending most of his time in Malibu.

A bankruptcy lawyer / fitness trainer? Only in California. Or Dallas. If in Houston, only at the ZaZa.

According to the probable cause report filed last Friday, Charlambopoulos and Grammer got into an argument that quickly spiraled out of control. Grammer's tale is a brutal one: she told police that Charlambopoulos ripped out some of her hair, and then pressed and smashed her head into the mattress. According to Grammer, Charlambopoulos then squeezed her nostrils together and shoved her nose back towards her eyes, impeding her breathing and thus bringing on the felony enhancement. So too did what he allegedly did next—pinched her nostrils with one hand while covering her mouth with the other. 

Grammer said she blacked out after that and was dizzy when she came to. Charlambopoulos also reportedly was screaming things like "I'll knock your lights out," "I'll give you something to call the cops about," and "I want to bash your f***ing head in."

And he also allegedly broke her iPhone and took apart the room's landline before vanishing into the night. Grammer then, in her words, "hobbled down" four flights of stairs to the lobby and called police. She said she took the stairs out of fear of running into Dimitri in the elevator.

According to previous reports, the fight erupted after Grammer confronted Charalambopoulos about a wee hours conversation he was having with a screaming woman on his iPhone, which Houston police say also wound up destroyed in the melee that followed. They also noted that Grammer's injuries were minor. On her return to California, Grammer obtained a restraining order against Dimitri.

Dallas attorney Kirk Lechtenberger is representing Charalambopoulos and has issued the following statement:

Unfortunately, the Houston Police Department filed a case against Mr. Dimitri Charalambopoulos notwithstanding the fact that no offense ever happened. This action is not unexpected considering that, in this day and age, anyone can make up anything and get a charge filed. We look forward to going to trial as soon as possible and clearing this innocent man of this false allegation.

Grammer, born Camille Donatacci, saw her decade-plus marriage to Kelsey Grammer end in 2011. Before tying the knot, she worked as a dancer, Playboy model and also starred in such films as Marilyn Chambers' Bedtime Stories and The Naked Detective. 

In the "Silver City Ripper," Charalambopoulos has a real peach of a brother, according to D Magazine. Dimitri's ex once told the National Enquirer that Dimitri has a thing for rich older women (emphasis on rich) and that Camille should watch out.

Okay, soapbox time... Even for a franchise whose cast members are perpetually shrowded in dramarama, the Beverly Hills housewives take the cake. The husband of former cast member Taylor Armstrong committed suicide amid allegations of financial impropriety and Armstrong claimed after his death that he beat her frequently. Another one spiraled into drug addiction on-screen and got packed off to rehab between seasons. Adrienne Maloof's marriage collapsed under the weight of its incessant bickering and eye-rolling, and now there's this situation.

I've said it before: the Real Housewives franchise is pro wrestling for women, with emotional manipulation and verbal mayhem the drawing card in lieu of rasslin's physicality; it's no less a blood-sport even if bitchy remarks, confrontational conversations and catty expressions take the place of suplexes and body-slams. Andy Cohen is the gay Vince McMahon, and both men are very, very good at what they do: staging dramatic confrontations.

What's weird is that it seems more and more that pro wrestlers have more peaceful lives outside of the ring than the Housewives do off-screen. Maybe that's because there's more real emotion in the Real Housewives than any 20 Wrestlemanias.