Even in death, Michael Brown—that disgraced former doctor, that maker of super-creepy commercials, that glittering cocaine-addled socialite, spreader of anal herpes, sex instructor to his young daughter, hand clinic CEO and wielder of 2010 Joanne King Herring Humanitarian Awards as potentially deadly weapons—is the gift that keeps on giving.
Six months after his death in Miami, Brown has managed to bring Irina Bogatcheva, who calls herself "Anastasia the Great," into our lives.
Bogatcheva was taken into federal custody by US Marshals and jailed in Houston in March and remained behind bars as of May 7. She stands accused of concealing Brown's cash, glass sculptures, and collection of 45 watches from the late (alleged) flight attendant choker's creditors.
Just who is this woman? Houstonia investigates.
She's a Russian-born artist who calls herself Italian and lives in Miami. As she puts it in her bio, she was born "in Russia, in 1966, on April the 15th, coinciding with the birth date of Leonardo da Vinci." She claims to have been raised in an Orthodox monastery, where she "was offered a genuine classical education, as strict as it was unique, emphasizing in painting and restoration of antique icons." Her upbringing also included "eclectic learning and advanced knowledge, [given] by private teachers, in literature, poetry, music and philosophy."
Nevertheless, she creates art like this:
Redolent of rich mahogany! Paging Ron Burgundy!
Paraphrasing Waylon Jennings, I don't think ol' Leonardo done it that way.
Melon-breasted nudes are a mainstay of her paintings, like so:
As of 2000, she was not calling herself "The Great" yet. Back then, she was "Anastasia the Monster of Art."
At the behest of Sylvester Stallone, she painted his third wife and baby as the Madonna and child:
According to that Miami New Times article linked to above, she also created a humidor for Stallone portraying him as Rocky Balboa battling Apollo Creed. Mock away, but almost any native of Philadelphia would kill your entire family to possess such a sacred relic.
Anastasia The Great Art Monster claims to speak nine languages—including Latin—and once shared a moment with Pope John Paul II.
She is still hoping to gift Miami with a harborside monument to rival the Statue of Liberty:
We would expect no less of Michael Brown's favorite artist.