Pizza Friday!

Is This Pizza Slice Too Big?

A trip to Pizza Love reveals a startling truth about form and function.

By Timothy Malcolm October 5, 2018

Trust us, these are humungous slices of pizza.

Friday nights in the Malcolm house meant ordering a large cheese pie from Tony’s Pizzeria, which was a 20-second walk from our front stoop. To honor pizza in all its glory, welcome to Pizza Friday! here at Gastronaut. We’ll celebrate a different Houston pizzeria each week, rating its basic cheese slice on the pizzaaaaa! scale (the more As the better).

This week: Pizza Love

There’s nothing misleading about Pizza Love. The Montrose pizza place at 3407 Montrose Blvd. has a tiny footprint in its shopping center, and its front-of-house is also pretty miniscule. A couple tables—including one that I think I've seen sold as patio furniture at Target—a counter, a large television, and that’s it. It’s not the coziest place, but I’m not sure it’s after that market.

Here’s what I see: a place where, after a night out with friends (it’s open until midnight on the weekends), you can order a quick slice. Because that slice is freaking huge, and it'll handle anyone's booze-fueled appetite.

Pizza Love isn’t misleading about that, either. Its website boasts a 14-inch slice, and behind the counter is a cardboard cutout the size of that very same piece of pizza. It comes from the pizzeria’s 28-inch large pie, which I imagine feeds a small party or large family.

I ate just one slice, keeping the other for later (for my daughter).

Giant pizza slices look dangerous to me. I like a slice that can fold and be held by one hand, and the bigger it gets, the more challenging that becomes. I start panicking because I can envision the cheese sliding off the dough and splattering onto the plate. It actually makes me nervous in the "my 2-and-a-half-foot-tall daughter is trying to climb the monkey bars" way. I don't want to worry when eating pizza; actually, I want to feel the exact the opposite of that.

Maybe I wouldn’t care so much if it was the end of a particularly boozy night. Just as I wouldn’t care about coziness or aesthetics.

Slice rating: pizzaa!

The behemoth size of the Pizza Love dominates the conversation, but I wish there was more balance and flavor. The cheese had no bite, and I would’ve liked a little less sauce. And again, with a slice this big, I had to worry about keeping it composed. But like all pizza, there is a time and a place.

Want to recommend a pizza place to Timothy? Send him an email at [email protected]

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