Yes, we know Taylor Swift moved her concert to this month from October in case the Astros make the playoffs. No, we’re not inviting her to dine with us. We prefer the breakup songs of Kelly Clarkson, performing here Sept. 1, thank you very much. We’re also inviting Jonathan Franzen, doing an Inprint reading in town on Sept. 21, but we’re seating him between Clarkson—who we imagine won’t take any crap from the cranky Corrections and Freedom author—and that terrifying king cobra that made headlines after it was found wandering the halls of the Rice Lofts downtown. Next comes Houston Dash player Carli Lloyd, who led the US team to victory in the Women’s World Cup; former city councilmember Toni Lawrence, who’s fighting to get Charlotte Allen her due as Houston’s real founder instead of her husband and brother-in-law; and Crane Inspection and Certification Bureau CEO Craig Epperson, who announced plans to open what’s billed as the “first and only approved career school to train individuals as crane operators and riggers in the Houston area” (better late than never, we guess). But the seat of honor is reserved for local mom Lesia Pettijohn, who recently gave birth to a 10-pound boy right on Beltway 8, inside the minivan her husband was driving to the hospital. Because she deserves a drink, we’re also inviting Stewart Skloss, founder and CEO of Houston-based Pura Vida Tequila, which recently acquired a new distillery in Jalisco, Mexico. Let’s all raise a glass of the good stuff—to Lesia!