Since March 1,Harris County residents caught with fewer than four ounces of marijuana haven’t been arrested, but cited and released pending completion of a drug-education class. The idea is that decriminalization will allow law enforcement to focus on other, more serious, crimes.
But in what other ways will Houston be changed by the new policy? We have a few predictions:
The lighted bridges over 59 will become a popular hangout, as people realize the new colors pair perfectly with Pink Floyd’s The Dark Side of the Moon.
People will start putting queso in inappropriate things, like pho…and cup-holders.
An enterprising resident of the East End will cover her entire house with Swisher Sweets, which will become a beloved local attraction and eventually be purchased by the Orange Show.
#WakeyBakey will replace #SundayFunday as the dominant hashtag of the brunch set, with Franklin Barbecue–size lines forming at Fluff Bake Bar in Midtown for a taste of specials like brisket on a biscuit, pimiento-cheese-everything bagel balls, and baklava croissants.
Hermann Park will be filled with wholesome family fun and zero people overdosing on kush.
What’s that, now? Menil Park? Oh, that will remain 100 percent unchanged.