Ice House

How Will Houston Be Changed by the New Pot Policy? We Have a Few Thoughts

Queso ... in everything.

By Sarah Rufca Nielsen April 17, 2017 Published in the May 2017 issue of Houstonia Magazine

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Image: Shutterstock

Since March 1, Harris County residents caught with fewer than four ounces of marijuana haven’t been arrested, but cited and released pending completion of a drug-education class. The idea is that decriminalization will allow law enforcement to focus on other, more serious, crimes.

But in what other ways will Houston be changed by the new policy? We have a few predictions:

The lighted bridges over 59 will become a popular hangout, as people realize the new colors pair perfectly with Pink Floyd’s The Dark Side of the Moon.

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Look at all the pretty colors and just think about life, man.

People will start putting queso in inappropriate things, like pho…and cup-holders.

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An enterprising resident of the East End will cover her entire house with Swisher Sweets, which will become a beloved local attraction and eventually be purchased by the Orange Show.

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Soon to be all Houstonians.

#WakeyBakey will replace #SundayFunday as the dominant hashtag of the brunch set, with Franklin Barbecue–size lines forming at Fluff Bake Bar in Midtown for a taste of specials like brisket on a biscuit, pimiento-cheese-everything bagel balls, and baklava croissants.

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It's too easy to make a "get baked" joke.

Image: Kate LeSueur

Hermann Park will be filled with wholesome family fun and zero people overdosing on kush.

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Image: Julian Basjel

What’s that, now? Menil Park? Oh, that will remain 100 percent unchanged.

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Nothing to see here, either.

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