A Spring Branch Circle K, located on Long Point, is having to dish out the dollarydoos thanks to a batch of gasoline that KHOU reports might be contaminated. Several locals say their cars straight up stopped working after they refilled their tanks with the alleged tainted fuel. KHOU spoke to two drivers whose vehicles needed towing on that fateful Saturday: one being a boba tea truck, and the other, an Uber driver unable to make rent after losing his primary source of income. Circle K is currently working on reimbursements for the damages.

Former Houston Mayor Annise Parker pitched a new idea of what to do with the perpetually crumbling Astrodome during a debate with Letitia Plummer, her ultimately victorious competitor who will soon go up against GOP contender Orlando Sanchez for Harris County Judge Lina Hidalgo’s soon-to-be vacated seat. Because “everything is gambling now”—as David Pierce at The Verge so straightforwardly puts it—Parker proposed that Tillman Fertitta, the current owner of the Rockets and former owner of the saddest white tiger in the world, transform the once-glorious stadium into “the world’s biggest casino,” according to Chron. This would, of course, require gambling to be legalized in Texas.

Maybe we’re biased here (we are), but after careful consideration of all the options at hand, we prefer the Astrodome revitalization ideas we pitched last year.  

For her part, Plummer responded that the estimated $750 million required to renovate the decaying space would need to come from private investors to ensure Harris County could continue funding social services. 

The misdemeanor trial for the currently suspended Fort Bend County Judge KP George was originally set for May 5, but it’s since been postponed to July because he is also awaiting sentencing for his prior felony money-laundering conviction. According to Houston Public Media, George faces allegations of misrepresenting his identity via a sock-puppet Facebook account under the very obviously totally real, you guys, honest name of “Antonio Scalywag.”

“Antonio Scalywag”—not a made-up person at all, that’s actually his name—left fake racist posts on the Facebook page for George’s 2022 re-election campaign. Fort Bend County deemed this an attempt to “injure a candidate or influence the result of an election.” Frankly, we’re baffled that anyone could ever dare question the veracity of Antonio Scalywag's existence.

George recently flipped his party affiliation from Democrat to Republican, presumably so he can receive his racial abuse more honestly in the future.

Because Houston drivers—like Houston pedestrians—are contractually obligated to not have nice things, the upcoming World Cup stands poised to expose every traffic- and public transportation-related infrastructure failure inside the Loop and probably a few outside, too. But don’t fret! If you want to avoid the worst of the worst jams and possibly add even more time to your drive, KPRC reports that a new website from Houston-Galveston Area Council and Commute Solutions has launched Commute Game Plan to help you plan your drive and avoid any of the inevitable oopsie daisies birthed when civic apathy and a car-centric culture collide.

Katy’s sinking. And the neat part is, it can’t be reversed! As reported by ABC13, the Harris-Galveston Subsidence District discovered that the elevation of Houston’s western suburb has sunk by an entire foot over the past 20 years, owing to the removal of groundwater. Katy is hardly alone in this, however. Spring, The Woodlands, Tomball, and Cypress are also working toward setting up a millennia-in-the-making rendezvous with the planet’s molten core. Failing to address the issue will lead to increased flood risk, which is kinda sorta a big problem in a climate-change-ravaged Gulf Coast. Experts believe that a combination of more stringent groundwater regulations and the construction of alternate water supplies could help slow the sink.