Holiday 2015

Talk Nerdy to Me: The Ultimate Gay Geek Gift Guide

Let's face it, the Venn diagram between gays and nerds is basically shaped like the One Ring to rule them all.

By Javier Garza December 2, 2015

I think it’s time us gays come out of the closet. No, not the obvious one, the glass closet of our geekery. Based on how many gay friends bought advanced tickets to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, it’s fair to say that the Venn diagram between gays and nerds is basically shaped like the One Ring to rule them all.

Maybe it’s solidary with a fellow tormented group in high school, maybe it’s identifying with the plight of Buffy Summers, or maybe it’s because Thor makes man-panties moist, but plenty of gays appreciate all things geeky. Now that the unholy trinity (and I’m not referring to Peter Jackson’s Hobbit movies) of Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday have passed, it’s time to consider some stocking stuffers for your chic geek.

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For the Jedi Master

Sorry, Katniss, but the biggest movie of the holiday season is going to be Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Clearly Disney/Lucasarts knows a star is born with BB-8, basically the love child of R2D2 and a soccer ball. While it might be out of your budget to acquire a life-size BB-8, you can try to get one of the remote controlled models ($149.99). If those are hard to come by, you can also order them a  Ton Ton sleeping bag ($149.99) so he or she can camp out at the theater before the premiere.

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For the Westerosi Who Can Cook

Is your lover upset that they know nothing about the fate of Jon Snow on HBO's Game of Thrones? Maybe they can sublimate their grief by cooking sumptuous meals inspired by the Song of Ice and Fire series. Any reader of the book knows that almost every chapter has vivid descriptions of what the denizens are consuming. There are enough recipes in A Feast of Ice and Fire: The Official Game of Thrones Companion Cookbook ($21.41) to plan your own Red Wedding, but be frugal with the honeycakes if you have a Khal Drogo costume to fit into.

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For the Wii Lad

There are two types of video gamers: those who get Smash Bros. and those who don’t. For the most recent edition of SSB, Nintendo jumped on the collectible bandwagon by releasing the Amiibo (from $16.60)—figurines based on assorted characters that populate various Nintendo games. Not only are these statues totes kawaii, they also grant added functionality to selected games such as additional costumes and levels. Because they are very popular among collectors, availability may be limited. Try to find out what games your boo is currently playing so you can stock up, but when in doubt you can’t go wrong with Mega Man, Zero-Suit Samus, Pink Yarn Yoshi, Shiek, or 8-bit Mario. 

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For the Comic Book Nerd

Why doesn't Black Widow doesn’t get her own movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Could Wolverine ever duke it out with The Hulk on-screen? Do you wonder what made Jessica Jones such a bad-ass? Give the gift of all the answers to these burning comic-book queries via the original source material, the Marvel comics. Try getting them a subscription to Marvel Unlimited ($9.99 per month, $99 annually for a premium subscription), an online pass to over 17,000 past issues. There's an embargo period on the most recent issues, but there are still plenty of stories to keep your nerd busy for hours.   

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For the Anime Aficionado

Billed as the Walt Disney of modern Japanese anime—by me, at least—Hayao Miyazaki has directed some of the most memorable animated files of all time, from the adorable My Neighbor Totoro to the breathtaking Princess Mononoke. Splurge on Amazon's exclusive collection of his entire catalog ($215)—it's a bit pricey, but it’ll be worth the seeing your partner get all verklempt at the end of Spirited Away.

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For the Vault Dweller

Most likely the biggest game of this winter will be Fallout 4. In this open-world RPG, you play as parent trying to rescue your son from kidnappers in a nuclear ravaged Boston. As my boyfriend soon realized, blasting feral ghouls and settlement buildings is pretty time-consuming. So prepare your lover for the life of a shut-in with a custom-made jumpsuit that resembles the initial outfit worn by the main character. [Ed. note: this one by Etsy seller Mellowmind Cosplay is currently sold out, but you can search Etsy for more or email the seller for a custom version.] Maybe get one with panels for easy bathroom access because the game is just that engrossing. 

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