The Election Crunch

We Know Who We're Voting For in the Crunchy M&M Debate

Here's where we stand in the sweetest election of 2018.

By Joanna O'Leary May 17, 2018

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We have the M&Ms and we're voting for... well, that would be a spoiler.

Although I still haven’t forgiven the MARS company for discontinuing the tan M&Ms, I am so captivated by limited edition foods and/or seasonal flavors that I grudgingly try every new iteration of these candies. Such is how I discovered that “Strawberried Peanut Butter” M&Ms (released in celebration of the Transformers movie) were not as gross as they sound and that “Cherry Cordial” M&Ms are absolutely wretched. Being forced to eat the latter should be considered a form of torture banned by the United Nations.

My daily pop-in at a Valero for coffee en route to work alerted me to the latest M&M innovation, a new line of “Crunchy” M&Ms (not to be confused with “Crispy” M&Ms, which are apparently irreconcilably different) comprising “Mint,” “Raspberry,” and “Espresso” flavors. To promote these varieties, MARS is asking consumers to vote on their favorite by May 25 with the winner being announced in August.

I purchased all three types, conducted my own at-home taste test, and the results were slightly surprising. Not shockingly, the raspberry was the least appealing, tasting highly artificial and benefiting nothing whatsoever from the “crunchy” texture. If I hadn’t sworn off betting on elections after November 8, 2016, I would wager a good chunk of my savings that “Crunchy Raspberry” will not emerge victorious.

As a relative philistine when it comes to coffee and lover of the marriage of mint and chocolate, I expected to be ambivalent toward the “Crunchy Espresso” M&Ms. However, the strong java flavor plus the pleasant texture, which evoked the crackle one experiences when munching on chocolate-covered beans, rendered them my favorite. A close second is the “Crunchy Mint," essentially Thin Mints in miniature form with the addition of a candy shell.

Conduct your own evaluation and cast your ballot for an electoral experience I guarantee is more fun than that thing involving chads and cheap curtains.

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