What Would Happen If Beyoncé Bought the Rockets?
Image: via Beyonce/"No Angels"
On Thursday, Bloomberg published some exciting news. (Not a sentence I thought I would ever type, but there you go.) According to their insider sources, Beyoncé is interested in owning a share of the Houston Rockets. Owner Les Alexander, who has owned the team since 1993, surprised the city and the league by announcing the team was for sale in July; Bloomberg estimates that the Rockets' popularity in China might merit even more than the $2 billion spent on the Los Angeles Clippers in 2015.
Beyoncé herself is said to have a net worth of $350 million, according to Forbes (and husband Jay-Z could not join her as his Roc Nation agency represents athletes, creating a conflict of interest). So Queen B would probably have to settle for a stake in the team, if the rumors are true. But seriously, how great would that be? We have a few ideas of how it might play out.
If Beyoncé buys a 1 percent share: Free hot sauce in your bag night on weekend home games.
If Beyoncé buys a 5 percent share: Rockets power dancers choreography now solely comprised of the moves to "Single Ladies," "Run the World (Girls)," etc.
If Beyonce buys a 10 percent share: All concession stands to serve only lemonade and watermelon (margaritas).
If Beyoncé buys a 20 percent share: Miss Tina takes over Rockets jersey/gear design and things get really sparkly.
If Beyoncé buys a 25 percent share: Dwight Howard DJs all Rockets free throws.
If Beyoncé buys a 50 percent share: Clutch the Bear renamed Bearoncé.
