London Speed It Up, Houston Rocket

What Would Happen If Beyoncé Bought the Rockets?

All concession stands will serve only lemonade, and other potential changes.

By Sarah Rufca Nielsen August 2, 2017

Vibe vixen beyonce rocket jersey iq3xwk

On Thursday, Bloomberg published some exciting news. (Not a sentence I thought I would ever type, but there you go.) According to their insider sources, Beyoncé is interested in owning a share of the Houston Rockets. Owner Les Alexander, who has owned the team since 1993, surprised the city and the league by announcing the team was for sale in July; Bloomberg estimates that the Rockets' popularity in China might merit even more than the $2 billion spent on the Los Angeles Clippers in 2015. 

Beyoncé herself is said to have a net worth of $350 million, according to Forbes (and husband Jay-Z could not join her as his Roc Nation agency represents athletes, creating a conflict of interest). So Queen B would probably have to settle for a stake in the team, if the rumors are true. But seriously, how great would that be? We have a few ideas of how it might play out.



A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

If Beyoncé buys a 1 percent share: Free hot sauce in your bag night on weekend home games.

If Beyoncé buys a 5 percent share: Rockets power dancers choreography now solely comprised of the moves to "Single Ladies," "Run the World (Girls)," etc.

If Beyonce buys a 10 percent share: All concession stands to serve only lemonade and watermelon (margaritas).


Bey got too much swagger in that jersey!! @beyonce #MadeinAmerica #H-Tiinnnneeeee

A post shared by jharden13 (@jharden13) on

If Beyoncé buys a 20 percent share: Miss Tina takes over Rockets jersey/gear design and things get really sparkly.

If Beyoncé buys a 25 percent share: Dwight Howard DJs all Rockets free throws.

If Beyoncé buys a 50 percent share: Clutch the Bear renamed Bearoncé.

Show Comments