It’s been nearly two years since a major outdoor festival graced our city (that was AstroWorld in November 2019), and more than three since we’ve had a summertime attempt at such an event (RIP short-lived In Bloom). With no fests seemingly in sight for the summer and AstroWorld's lineup to be announced, we wondered what would such frivolous outdoor revelry in our hometown swamplands look like these days? 

Obviously, Beyoncé would headline, as would Travis Scott, Bun B, Megan Thee Stallion, ZZ Top, and a Kenny Rogers hologram. Every grackle in Houston, thunder, and extreme heat would also make appearances. 

See our complete dream lineup below.